Riverdale Time Skip: Let’s Do The Time Warp For The First Time
Riverdale has never been a show with consistent quality. Most of the time it’s watchable, mind you, but I learned years ago not to expect anything to…what do you call it? Oh, yeah–make sense. Whether it’s a plot about a serial killer (who turns out to be a character’s dad), an antagonist called the Gargoyle King, a rocket-building cult leader, or another serial killer (who turns out to be a character’s brother), it’s really all the same. The story proceeds at a reasonable pace until it wildly careens off the rails. Lather, rinse, defeat. But good news, because we’re going to be doing all that, but in the future! Next week, Riverdale will skip time seven years forward.
What Happens In The Riverdale Time Skip?
image via NBC
I mean, I’m just assuming, based on past performance. This is a show, after all, that course-corrects only long enough to lull you into staying a viewer. (See also: this past year, when Riverdale star Vanessa Morgan criticized the way the show wrote Black characters–basically as sidekicks “to our white leads.” And then it looked like they might give Toni her own storyline this season, but then she was just part of Cheryl’s. Again.)
Anyway, there are actual factual specifics about what we can expect. First of all, in this week’s episode, “Graduation,” Archie joined the Army because some ghosts from 1945 appeared to him in the high school. They didn’t say anything to him or anything; they just looked like they were real good buds having a real good time as they headed out of the auditorium to go fight the last five minutes of WWII. And speaking of armed conflicts, when Archie tells Veronica that he’s off to get his awards from Army, she’s like, “Babe. Sweetie. Angelpie. You know we’re in a war, right?” Immediately, the Kill Bill sirens began going off in my head, but like, in a good way.
That’s because Riverdale never really acknowledges boring real world stuff like presidential elections or, I don’t know, global trade. So, first of all, it was unusual for the show even to talk about something like a war. Second of all, in real life, war is often, as they say, “Months of boredom punctuated by moments of extreme terror.” (I base my extensive knowledge of war on my history degree and also my more rigorous academic work–watching things like The Pacific and Unsere Mütter, unsere Väter.) Third of all, in case I haven’t emphasized it enough, this show is bananas. So how are they going to depict something like war?
Welp, the answer came almost immediately in the promo for next week’s episode, “Purgatorio.”
As you can see, the conflict apparently involves trench warfare on the Riverdale High School football field? Yeah, that checks out. Please place your bets, though, on who the opposing force in the “war” is. (I hope it turns out to be something intangible, like famine or Canada.)
What The Time Skip Has In Store For The Other Characters
Of course, the Riverdale time skip isn’t just about Archie and the amazing war he’s fighting. We also get baby glimpses of what’s been happening with the rest of the core four, too. To wit, Jughead has now become a big-time writer. Does he go by Jughead professionally or is his nom de plume his government name? We’ll find out! And on the subject of names, Veronica is now married to a creature called a Chadwick Gekko. Don’t love that for her, but we’ll see.
Dunno why they’ve dressed her like the 80s, though. (image via The CW)
Like Jughead, though, Betty’s continued writing, although she’s put her reporting on hold for a stint in the FBI. Those G-Woman scenes, by the way, look very Silence of the Lambs, and that includes a kidnap sequence. Yikes.
As for other characters, while I was harsh on them before for Toni’s storyline, it looks like she might actually be getting her own. Wow, and it took only seven years. Anyway, she appears to be the new Serpent Queen. As for her once and former love, Cheryl, Madelaine Petsch used the word “recluse” to describe her character’s future. Aw.
But we’ll have to watch to find out how it gets to that point, or how Riverdale basically becomes Hiram’s domain. Or to meet Pop Tate’s granddaughter Tabitha (Erinn Westbrook), who wants to turn the Chock’lit Shoppe into a franchise. Or to find out more about the war, each detail of which will probably incinerate my synapses.
This week’s episode surprised me by actually being good. Can they carry that over for the time jump? Probably not. But we’ll see.
Riverdale will begin its time skip next week on February 10, when combat vet Archie Andrews–a phrase that makes me smell burning toast–returns home from, you know, The War.
What do you think of Riverdale‘s time jumping plans? Let us know on our social media, in these comments, or by screaming into the sky on full moon nights–I will hear you.
featured image via The CW
Salomé Gonstad is a freelance writer who grew up in the swampy wilds of south Alabama. When she's not yelling about pop culture on the internet, she's working on a supernatural thriller about her hometown. Also, we're pretty sure she's a werewolf. Email her at email@example.com.